1. |
Diamond Cutter
01:16
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Another day wastes away, everyone is feeling the same. I guess there's something going wrong in my brain. I don't think that it will change. But I guess a key part of the human experience is being aware of how fucking bad can it get and still be able to keep moving on.
He's living in the future, I'm stuck living in the past. London bridge has fallen, it won't be the last. Onward we keep trucking, like it even matters. And we keep on falling, fucking snakes and ladders.
In my latest dreams I have moved out to Seattle, I'm wearing better clothes, finally acting like an adult. Everything is sweet, yeah no nasty surprises. That's kind of shit I'll only see behind my eyelids.
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2. |
Luna, I Love You
02:51
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How unrelentingly life comes for you and me both, and at such a dull speed, I feel the need to scream and address that there's a vacancy in my soul or a demon has taken up residence in my skull.
But I can't do anything without that constant validation, it's my only motivation for existing. And I can't do anything without having you hold my hand again.
And how unrelentingly life stops for you and me both, at the worst places and times that we know. Freezes us in tragedy, never let us rest those dreams. It seems like our pain will never let us be alone.
And I'm truly sorry for the next two years because I can't promise that I'll be here. I'll do my best, you know I get stressed out dude. And I'm trying too.
But I can't do anything without constant validation, it's my only motivation for existing. And I can't do anything without having you hold my hand again.
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3. |
Switchblade
01:58
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Hi! Just called to try to say, I never even wanted you to pick up in the first place.
I want you in the worst way, you're akin to a switchblade.
Is one thousand words not enough to show you how little I give a fuck? How about 3 hours of songs, where you can clearly tell I'm still alone?
Still all alone now. I feel better off somehow. That lies getting easier every time.
Oh! Just for a day, I would love to not have to see that dumb look on your face. I love you in the worst way. If it exists, it'll decay.
I love you in the worst way. You're akin to a switchblade. I love you in the worst way. You make my nerves ache.
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4. |
Relatively Happy Song
03:39
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You might think I'm always sad but I'm not. About twice a year I get a day off but it comes with a heavy cost of writer's block. Cause I find so disingenuous to force happy music but I've learnt that no one gives a shit about how complex your unhappiness is.
So this is a relatively happy song, so you can never say that I didn't write one. And rest assured that I'll never perform this. I just find it easier to express my flaws.
But sadness is just as cliche as happiness seems. Don't be shocked when no one wants to hear about your dead childhood dreams. Cause no one cares about your tragedy, no one cares about your tragedy. I'm not out here looking for sympathy, I just want a life of clarity.
So this is a relatively happy song, so you can never say I didn't write one. And rest assured that I'll never perform this. I just find it easier to express my flaws.
There's only so much time to spend in a day worrying about someone or something that won't change your life in any conceivable way. Just focus on what's real, try to enjoy today.
This is a relatively happy song, so you can never say that I didn't write one. Rest assured that I'll never perform it. I just find it easier to express my flaws.
I am happy so much of the time but on days that I am, well I don't need to write. I am happy so much of the time but on days that I am, yeah I don't need to write.
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5. |
Pablo Seshcobar
02:41
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Strangely accustomed to feeling bleak, when the only thing certain is uncertainty. And don't you ever think of me at least?
Cause I've been feeling weak for the better part of 10 weeks. Watch me solving problems in my sleep, wake up with the steps there to repeat. I'm over counting sheep, so fuck your inner peace. I have stitched deceit into my genes and for the rest of time I'll be,
Blissfully sinking, running away from demons. You're a memory, I'm in reverie and I just want to stay asleep.
And honestly, I don't even know what honesty has got to do with anything. It doesn't help anything and I can't make any change. My skies are always grey. That line was a cliché, I'm destined to waste my days. I'll stay,
Blissfully sinking, running away from demons. You're a memory, I'm in reverie and I just want to stay asleep. Blissfully sinking, running away from demons. You're a memory, I'm in reverie and I just want to stay asleep.
And I never seem to make anything any easier for anyone that I meet.
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6. |
Goth2Boss
02:00
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You won't wake from your sleep, it's been a year and you're in too deep. They need to see some signs of life or they're pulling the plug on you. And all those thoughts that have been troubling you, they will continue to.
As you drink away the mistakes you have made and laugh it off as you're walking home insane. And when you lay down softly on the hard, cold pavement. Then the stars come out tonight, they'll ask you was it worth it. It's not worth it.
Cause I am hot, like an alcoholic. A raging bull with a china wallet. I don't have the strength to go to work today, in fact I never want to leave the house again.
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7. |
Minimal Water Damage
03:29
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Hate the laugh tracks but I need 'em when I feel lonely. The only way I'm healing through distractions and ice cream. Cause my life has no meaning, my attention span is fleeting and I'm waiting for the day that NBC revives my favourite show.
I'm not watching any movies or any television, I'm not consuming media, it makes me feel empty. I'm so fucking jealous of Ted & Barney's friendship. I really wish that you were always just a set piece away. But you're not, not here and I am lost. I binge watch the best parts of my life, till the second season writer's strike.
Cause all I see are silver screens, they're all around me in the bedrooms and the houses that surround me and I sink into my seat. The only time I'm not alone is when your name lights up my phone. And I scream into the street. I make your earholes bleed.
And I scream internally. And mostly I'm not at home, I'm usually in the graveyard getting stoned.
There's a lot of things you should know.
Woe. Woe, I'm living in a constant state of woe.
So if it's not Always Sunny or Peep Show then I don't wanna know. Just give me something cynical like Seinfeld, or I won't be watching bro. And I want you to know, I have never felt so quite alone. The screen seems important to me, when I'm wasted watching TV.
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8. |
Critical Perspectives
04:47
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It's easier if you don't think about it. It's easier if you just get it over with. A thousand times that I've seen those eyes, I've been staring at em on sleepless nights. But it's just the same day over and over, we're in a cycle, there's nowhere to start, making new memories, just to erase them, falling in love and then falling apart.
It's a strange thing to regret everything single fucking thing you've ever said, as the words pass from your lips and come tumbling out your head. But me, I consider myself like an open book, but there's all these fucked up paragraphs, underlined but overlooked.
The smell of smoke has crossed into my dreams and the future is clouded with uncertainty. I think it's clear you got the best of me, while also getting the worst, simultaneously.
Breath in deeply, stare into my eyes and asking if you see me. Breathe out slowly, all I need from you is a warm body. Cause I could squint my eyes till your face fits in the part, I could fall asleep to the sound of your heart. I could take this rage, let it tear me apart, I could fall in love, let it tear me apart.
But we're just works of fiction with predetermined actions, poorly made decisions so it always seems tragic. When you tell me all the darkest secrets you've been holding captive, rehearsing your lines for this picture perfect sadness in my head.
And in my head it plays again, in my head I feel the same, and it was probably for the best. But in my head, its never meant.
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9. |
Staring at the Ceiling
03:12
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Walking alone back to an empty home has never been that appealing. Cause all that I do is lay in bed staring at the fucking ceiling. So I'll climb up the drainpipe instead of just using the front door, it's my sad attempt to prove that I'm still the same as before. The same as before.
She said if you don't wanna live, I'll drive this car right off a cliff and we will slam into the ditch and no, they'll never speak of this. If you really wanna die, you don't have to tell me twice, with the headlights in her eyes I knew I'd never feel alive again. And I never felt alive again, until the day I died, I never felt alive, I never felt alive until the day I died again.
When all that I do is lay in bed staring at the fucking ceiling.
When all that I do is lay in bed staring at the fucking ceiling with you.
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10. |
Forehead Kisses
01:27
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It depends how far that you want to go. Cause things get deep, yeah things get deep even in a week. And maybe I'll never know what casual means but I certainly know that it isn't forehead kisses before I go to sleep.
Cause truth be told, I've no fucking clue what my future holds. Truth be told, I've no fucking clue what my future holds.
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11. |
Tijeras
02:59
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Staring at the pavement while I'm listening to Pavement and the city sighs under my feet. I really hate myself, in an absence of trying new things, well I'll just decay naturally.
Staring at the ceiling, while the repression of feelings leads to gruesome, uncontrollable dreams. And sometimes I do go lucid and I truly try to change things but all of my attempts are weak.
And I'm too weak, so I probably won't leave a note. I'm too weak, so I probably won't.
But you'll always have my records if you truly care to venture, please just hold on to a smile of mine. And in the meantime with every breath left in my body I'll continue to use this hobby to fight this, the hardest battle of my life.
Staring at the pavement while I'm listening to Pavement and the city cracks under my feet. I really hate myself, in an absence of trying new things, well I'll just decay naturally.
You think I'm ugly, don't you? 'Your face looks troubled', way too many bad decisions, dead ambitions, dirty dishes that you should have seen it coming, like that kid in your stomach. Hazy living, waste the feeling, stare at the ceiling.
And this is merely all a cry for help. Why can't you see, but equally in that same breath, can you please stop calling ambulances on me?
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12. |
Amateur Duelist
01:30
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It's hard to memorize words when I'm mesmerized by every one you say. Trace your skin for bullet wounds, as time heals it does erase. In these four walls, I've heard death's call so many times to call my room my tomb is not a lazy rhyme, it's just a fact of life.
Neon signs and city lights illuminate these winter nights. Cold coffee and my duvet punctuate my average days. Neon signs and city lights illuminate these winter nights. Cold coffee and my duvet punctuate my boring days.
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13. |
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I'm not sure that I've ever been in love before despite times that I'd previously thought that I was. It was just the right combination of the right people in the right situation with some lust in the equation. Yeah, that's usually how it happens.
Now every day you're getting wasted and you're hiding from your feelings, everyday you're getting wasted, every day that you are wasting, everyday you're getting wasted, every day that you are wasting, everyday you're getting old.
I hate the fact that I've got to grow up, cause all it assures me of is that one day I'll lose touch with all the of the people that I love.
I hate growing up so much, hate knowing one day that I'll lose touch, with all these people that I claim to love, that I don't even love (at all), I think I just wanna fuck. If I wasn't burdened by mental health, I'd be a millionaire, I could do anything else or I could do anything, if I wanted to, instead I'll debuff myself, make it fair on you.
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14. |
Whatever Makes You Happy
02:32
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We'll coast by on a sense of egocentric pride, yeah. And it would be nice, yeah it would be alright. So tell me what's your aim? Burn out until you can't remember her name? If so, then I'm game.
I never want to see the people that I love ever again, not because I do not care for them, but all I do is disappoint them. And I never want to lie to anyone again. So please, for future reference, never ask about my career plans.
There's always some sad shit going on in my head. There's always a small voice telling me I should be dead. There's always a sad song, waiting just up ahead, so if that's not my promise, to you that I'm here till the end, then I don't know what else is.
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